Sam Pinto FHM Cover July 2010

Ah, Sam Pinto. Finally. Those who tried to endure watching the lump-of-shit-in-television-formaldehyde called Pinoy Big Brother most probably were hoping to see a little pretty flower to occasionally blossom out of it in the form of a Sam Pinto splashing around in the pool in a skimpy bathing suit, can now actually see her fulfilling your fantasy. OK, not exactly, because in my fantasy, my hands are tied to the headboard, or there’s a she-goat tied to the headboard (I don’t know which; I get confused with these fantasy things), and Sam’s totally naked, blood and all, and she’s trying to axe my head off, and I keep shoving her the she-goat to save my ass. I scream like a girl, but somehow, sexytime happens. While in this FHM reality, Sam does nothing but stand there, her hands on her hips, banking solely on her face’s perfection. But the “interview” takes us into the important things in her head, and life in general: Who does she think she is? What are the shit she loves? How are you, the fapping consumer, gonna consume her image? Is your zipper already open? Very important stuff, as usual, and you’re glad that now you know!